seancamden.com

Sean (not his real name) was raised by wolverines in the Alaskan Wilds and became a Scrabble-shark by the age of 12, fleecing Inuit Eskimos for all their beaver pelts and tucking away a nest egg to achieve his dream of opening a deli in Kathmandu. Squee Grunt (the name the wolverines gave him) never made it to Nepal, because he got sidetracked by some lutefisk-eating Swedish mercenaries who recruited him as an operative for the SÄPO (Swedish Secret Service) where he learned to kill a man using nothing but a single piece of dried fish. Despite his gruesome education at the hands of these violent but good natured Swedes, Squee went on to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 1993 for his epochal work creating a sustainable fusion reaction using nothing but two Twinkies and a bowl of Coolwhip. Sadly, this technology, which could easily solve the world's energy problems (provided the Kraft Company could keep up with demand), has been classified TOP SECRET and buried beneath Mount McKinley by the CIA. After assuming his new identity as a humble, modest-person, whom you can contact by adding his first name to the above listed domain (his assumed name, not the one the wolverines gave him), Sean now lives in Novato, California with his wife and daughters all of whom know nothing of his previous life.

Or do they??